Damn these feelings

I wish I could just turn off these feelings and be a little robot sometimes. Things still suck at work. I've randomly started crying on Thursday evening for 15 minutes and I'm not someone who cries easily. But apparently the whole situation at work has been harder on me than I thought. I've visited my parents today and started crying again. My parents while they were sympathic (more or less) and agreed with my decision to give notice by the end of September, were not helpful. 'Cause really Mom, when I'm already crying is it really the best idea to tell me that I'm fat again? You really thought this was a helpful way of rebuilding my already bruised selfconfidence (7 interviews, 4 rejections so far)? I'm well aware that I have a few kilos too much, but you make me sound like I'm obese. Plus I'm working out twice a week and cut down on my sugar intake. My whole body is way more toned than it was 4 years ago, but it's never gonna be enough for you anyway. My mother has no idea what I'm eating but she just knows that I'm only eating crap. Gee, I wonder why I used to have such low self esteem? And Dad, I'm also aware of how I'm just a lowly employee and have to do as I'm told, but really I'd like to get something other than money out of the job that I'm doing. I'm trying to care less, I'm trying to grieve for the job that I loved and doesn't exist anymore, but it's not that fucking easy. I'm trying my best.

I still haven't heard from the company that I interviewed last week. They said they'd get back to me either yesterday or next week. But I'm thinking I'm probably not going to get it. I have another interview scheduled on Thursday. Maybe 8th time's the charm?