Livin' in the City

I love my mom and I get on well with her for the most part. There is however one sore subject: my weight.

Today we went shopping together and for the most part it was fun, until when a shirt didn't really fit her boobs in H&M, I was like "I know how you feel. This coat is only a 14 because the 12 squished my boobs". Turns out, that's all that it took to set her off. How I really should lose weight, how unhealthy I'm being, how much better I'd look if I lost weight. It's not the first time she said the exact same thing, I said what I usually say, how I am comfortable with my own body, how I don't see how working out twice a week is unhealthy, how if I felt like I needed to lose weight I would. Also how it's my body and therefore my business and could she stop it. Of course she didn't stop it and in the end I just left. She said she was only telling me the truth and that I was running away.

I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. It's the neverending argument, where I'm like "Back off the subject" and she plays the motherly guilt card. It just feels like 1) she has no idea what I actually eat 2) she's projecting her own body image issues on me (she's a 6, but never happy with her body, always looking to lose weight) and 3) I feel like she treats me like a child worse than when I actually was one. All of this I've already told her, all of it making no difference whatsoever.

Also I really loved when she accused me of not loving myself enough and then when I left after she disrespected my wish not to talk about it and just my opinion in general, she said I was running away. Whatever, woman. Seriously???

We actually wanted to go to a museum on Wednesday. I'm not seeing it happening.

We were very unlucky. The one day of the trip where the weather wasn't great and it was on the day we visited the Alhambra.

( Lots of pictures )

On Day 8 we made a trip to the Ourika Valley.

( Pictures )

Work continues to suck. I have a new boss since Monday. On Thursday, another person is gonna move into our already cramped office. We get to have even less space to work. We won't get any help (I still work for 1.4 people), because they used the 40% my coworker reduced somewhere else. Not where they need to, mind you. Not that they told us where. They tell us nothing anyway. I swear I get more usefull information from having lunch with coworkers/people from adjecent departments than I ever get told the official way. Turns out, one person is moving to Hong Kong for work. I know that only because I had lunch with him in the canteen.

I so need a new job. All this stuff just shows me that they don't appreciate our work at all. The people there are totally helpless without us assistants, but yeah, let's piss us off. They are all very intelligent, but have trouble finding envelopes on their own. My new office mate is similiarly pissed off. She actually told our new boss that as soon as she finds a new job, she's out of there.

Today I spent hours clicking on online job ads, but I haven't found something worth applying for. I think I need to go the job placement agency route again. It's probably easiest and fastest. I don't really have time to surf the net every day to look for a new job.

And I still haven't found a new roommate. Blergh! My life could do with a little less sucking.

Loved the fall finale of Glee. Can it be April, like now?

I was sick again this week. I think it's because my coworker only works 60% since September. Because I basically do 140%, I'm tired all the time and lack energy. I need to take this up with my boss. I can't go on like this. Why is so hard to ask for help?

I still haven't found a new roommate. There were a few that were interested, but a lot of them never showed up for our meetings. It's really annoying. There must be someone out there, who I like and who wants to live with me, right?

We had a great hotel in Marrakech, maybe the nicest of the whole trip. Many of the group I traveled with had diarrhea/issues with digestion. My roommate for this trip had it worst of all. From Marrakech onward she was weak, had fever and diarrhea and spent the whole time in bed.

( Pictures )

I'm sick. I don't know whether it's just a normal flu or swine flu. I don't have a fever, but I have 5 of the symptoms on the NHS list (unusual tiredness, headache, loss of appetite, aching muscles, diarrhea). In short, I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Unless my one day of bed rest prompts some sort of miracle, I'll stay home tomorrow.

Day 3 was mostly spent on the bus, with photo stops and bathroom breaks.

( Pictures )

We flew to Casablanca.

( Pictures )

At the moment, I'm not happy at work at all. I think it's the result of the two months I worked for two. I'm still sort of tired and grumpy because of that, even though I took a week off. And starting this week, my coworker starts to work part time (60%). I'm trying really hard not to resent him for that. I mean, it's not really his fault. But I'm just so fucking tired of being the responsible, reliable one, the one that has to take care of everything. In addition to that, I've come to the realization that while the job is a challenge on a organizational level, the rest of it is boring and I'm way overqualified. Of course, now is the perfect time to look for a job in finance *sarcasm*. I'm just fucked....