alexdegenhardt: (Waiting KO)
I've successfully finished my degree. The last two years of it have been especially stressfull.

Now that I've got the Bachelor's Degree in Information Science, I'm looking for a new job. I like my current job okay, it's just that I feel underchallenged. And with no challenge from my studies, I'm downright bored sometimes. The problem is that there are very few jobs in the field that I'm even close to qualified for, are in Zurich and surrounding area, and offer a 60-100% job, so that I could live on it. So far I've exactly sent off one application. I feel trapped in a holding pattern and I want to do something, but I can't.

My love life is still non-existant. I think the older I get, the more cynical I get. My life is good without a partner, it's just sometimes I wish there was someone to share my life with. And I've dipped my toes into online dating, but they either can't spell, read or have age ranges that cuts off at 5 years younger than them. Meanwhile I get hit on by guys 50 years or older. I just find that creepy. To me, it just shows that they want someone that adores them, but could never challege them. As I want a relationship with an equal, not a guy whose ego I need to prop up, they are definitely not for me. Online dating platforms have just been depressing me.
alexdegenhardt: (Family GG)
My sister is pregnant and getting married in little more than a week. Of course, this calls for family drama. Apparently she didn't invite all of our aunts and uncles. This has led to my grandmother and one aunt, who was invited because she's her godmother, to decline the invitation in solidarity. I get their reasons, but on the other hand, that particular grandmother has exactly 3 grandkids. She's 86 years old and it's not likely that my brother or me are getting married soon. So, she's missing her wedding for that... But while I adore the aunt that is my sister's godmother, she did basically ruin my sister's 30th birthday party because she started a fight with my sister's groom to be and then dramatically flounced off. So maybe it's for the best if they are not there.

I've been feeling emotionally out of sorts recently. My emotions are all over the place since my grandfather died in 5 weeks ago. All the talk about the wedding and pregnancy (a friend is also pregnant) has also led me to contemplate the sad state of my love life. It's the perfect storm of unprocessed grief, coming down from a stressful year of studying and being faced with how much I'd like to find someone. It puts me on edge and makes me prone to cry at a moment's notice. Basically I'd love a real vacation where I don't have to think about school stuff at all and just read lot's of books someplace nice. Unfortunately, that can't happen anytime soon. This summer, during semester break, I get to do a project for school. Because stressing me out for 9 1/2 months wasn't enough, they had to do it all year round. It means I have been working 100% since the beginning of June and will do so til the end of August. It's more responsibility and more expectations from my employer during the project. So yay, more stress on top of being stressed. Can it be Fall 2014 already, please?

Nervous

Oct. 24th, 2012 10:47 pm
alexdegenhardt: (Being an adult sucks)
So, there is this huge project I have to do for school next summer during my semester break. And it's basically a gigantic pain in the ass to organize. I get to spend my semester break working my ass off for school, after just having spent a year working my ass off for school. It's great.

It looks like I can do it at my current employer, which would make things just so much easier. There are several ideas for what I could do and tomorrow I have a meeting with the big boss about it. There's a small hitch in the whole thing: I need to spend a certain amount of hours on this project and I can't do it timewise doing only 2 days/week for 10 weeks. Because my school clearly didn't think the concept of part-time students and what amounts to 32 work days through. I'm hoping to persuade them to be able to reduce my hours at work for the duration of the semester break. It's a reasonable proposal I think: instead of working my normal job 3 days/week, I'd do 2 days normal work and 3 days work for the project. Wish me luck, mostly because the alternative is making me stressed already.
alexdegenhardt: (Yay Community)
I've been on semester break since the end of June. And the saying "Time flies when you're having fun" certainly seems true. I think we're about halfway through it. Now it's just 3 weeks til I leave for my vacation in Turkey. And as soon as I return from that the semester will have started again. On Tuesday, I hung out with Barbara (someone I study with). I haven't seen any of the people I study with since our last exam. But it does seem like everybody else is not hanging out much either. I think we see each other so much during the year that we spent summers far away from everything that has to do with school.

I've been reading a lot. I started reading the Dresden Files series. I'm on Book 10 already. Around book 4 or so Harry Dresden behaved like an idiot a lot, but I really loved the last few books. I think they get better and more complex the longer the series gets on. I've also read "Starcrossed" and "Dreamless" by Josephine Angelinni. It's YA, will be a trilogy (that seems like a major thing right now) and it's has greek mythology mixed in. I liked it a lot. "Insurgent", the second book of the Divergent series, was only so so. It picked up at the end, but in the middle for long stretches the main character behaved like a moron.
alexdegenhardt: (Smiling DLM)
I've been writing a Wordpress Blog. But don't worry, it's strictly for school purposes. We have to maintain a blog for a whole semester for "infomation society, -ethics, politics". Our subject is SOPA and ACTA. It's in German, but if you want to read it anyway, here it is. Or here's a semi-decent online translator.

School has been trying to kill me since the start of the new semester, yet again. I still love it, but I could do with less presentations and paper writing. In the next 3 weeks, I have to plan a lesson and interview a person for about an hour for a survey. I'm gonna be glad when it is the middle of April and the worst is over. But on the upside, this weekend, I can and will take it slow and relax for once.

In a couple of hours, I will see the Hunger Games and I'm very looking forward to it.
alexdegenhardt: (Monday again? Community)
I managed to survive exam week. The day after I went to two seperate birthday parties. One was more of a tea/coffee and cake affair, but the other was a drinks in a bar/clubbing all night thing. Because I wasn't tired for once, I was dancing all night and took the first bus home. It was fun dancing, I don't do it enough.

What wasn't fun was the flu I got not 48 hours later. I spent the next 6 days in bed. I had a 10 days off school between the fall and spring semester and I was sick most for most of them. Great, but it gets better. When I returned to work on Monday, my wallet got stolen, containing all my cards and the train tickets I'd already bought for Chur. So my evening consisted of calling to block my cards and going to the local police station to report it stolen. Not what I needed, especially because I still got a cough, so I didn't feel a 100%. I feel naked without my cards.

I survived this week and the four days in Chur. Part of the days were a complete waste of time. But there were bright spots: Information/Media Law was way more interesting than expected. The prof loves to hear himself talk, but he's entertaining. As usual the start of the semester is very demotivating, because you haven't even started and they tell you all the presentations you have to hold and the papers you have to write and so forth.

On a positive note, we got our grades back. I passed the Assessment-Level! Yay! And I managed a passing grade in Information Retrieval, the one exam I really felt I screwed up. And I rocked Programming. I'm really happy with my grades. Now off to semester 4!
alexdegenhardt: (Lilo Afraid)
This week is particularly stressfull for me. I have 5 end of the semester exams. Today was a very frustrating day. And I fear tomorrow will not be much better. But at least tomorrow at 3 o'clock this whole thing is over (for the next 4 or 5 months).

I had my first exam Wednesday, which went okay. All in all, it's just about 20% of my total grade, so I'm not worried. Today I had two exams. And they both went terribly. What was especially helpful was the massive headache I had the whole day. The one in the morning is also not much of a concern, it's 50% of my grade in the subject and I'm pretty sure that I have at least a A-, if not an A in the other 50%. The one this afternoon concerns me more, since the grade of the exam = my grade in the subject. I hope the prof is lenient when correcting it, otherwise I'll end up having a D and I need a C.

Tomorrow we have another 2 exams, 1 in the morning, the other in the afternoon. Thankfully 1 is open book, so I don't have to cram everything from that into my brain as well. Both are difficult subjects: Programming and Information Management. I fear Information Management more, but Programming could be tricky as well, depending on what question the prof poses. Basically I hope that I manage passing grades in all of them. And I wish it was 20 hours later and over.

I'm so tired, I wish I could go to sleep now.
alexdegenhardt: (Reading GG)
I've been reading. Here are my thoughts on some of the books:

The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson: I liked it a lot. It's YA, but for once, there's no annoying love triangle. It's about a teenage girl who goes to a boarding school in London as an exchange student. While she's there, some murders that have s lot of similarities to Jack the Ripper start happening. It has supernatural elements, but nothing too heavy. It's well-written.

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness: It's not bad. It has some similarities to Twilight, though. It's basically if Twilight had been written by someone who could actually write and does research. There's a lot of stuff going on and the writing is dense. The plot doesn't just show up 2/3 in like in Twilight. It sucks that it's Book 1 of a trilogy. But yes, there's also the Vampire watching her sleep thing and him being patronizing. And her tolerating that and thinking that she was nothing special, but of course, she's a very special snowflake, as the book goes on. The whole "Her falling in love with him" wasn't earned, either. All of sudden, she's head over heels for him and never doubts that, even though it basically starts a war and puts herself and all the people she loves at risk. But those were minor quibbles in a reasonably entertaining book where the characters were actual characters, not just empty shells for the reader to project themselves into.

The secret life of dresses by Erin McKean: It's chicklit, but bittersweet, because there's a character death. And it's more of coming of age story than a love story. I liked it. All the dresses described in it sound lovely and make me want to have a closet like the main character.

Sleepy

Dec. 4th, 2011 06:31 pm
alexdegenhardt: (Trouble Novels HP)
I don't like winter. I feel like I could sleep all the time.

Today I had brunch with two of my friends at a restaurant close to where I live. It's a bit on the expensive side, but the food was good.

I continue reading like it's going out of style. I finished the 10 or 11 books of the Diane Fry/Ben Cooper Series by Stephen Booth. I also finished the Night Huntress Series by Jeaniene Frost. And I'm on the second book of the "Mortal Instruments" Series. I have to say, I'm getting sick of the supernatural series with a love triangle thing, even though in this it's acutally just one love interest, the other one turns out to be her brother. That's one way of mixing it up, I suppose...

Knowing that Jamie Campbell Bower is playing Jace in the adaptation is marring my enjoyment a bit. I don't think he's attractive and after seeing a couple of episodes of Camelot, I doubt his acting abilities.

I'm back

Sep. 30th, 2011 03:20 pm
alexdegenhardt: (Matthew Mary DA)
I haven't posted in ages. Studying has taken it's toll.

In the last couple of months, I :
-survived semester 1 & 2 in my quest to get a bachelor's degree in Information science.
-turned 31 (I'm old :-))
-went on vacation to Copenhagen & Sweden
-bought myself a Kindle

The icon is from my current obsession. I watched Downton Abbey online, then bought the Season 1 DVD's and I seriously ship Matthew/Mary hardcore. They need to get together and stop breaking my heart every episode. Last Sunday, I stayed up til 2 o'clock to watch the newest episode, just because I couldn't wait to see it.

The third semester has started. I'm mentoring a group of first semesters. And two weeks into the semester, I'm already developing a serious hate of the constant group work. I get the uses, I just don't like it.

I'm very much in love with my Kindle. I read so much more now, I've started to read even in the short time between me getting off the bus and arriving at work. And the text-to-speech is very practical for the times, when you have to do the dishes, but want to keep reading. Obviously, it's not the same thing as an audiobook. I doubt for example that the robotic voice of the Kindle would have made me cry the way Stephen Fry did with "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".
alexdegenhardt: (Headdesk Community)
Time to hear the conservatives go on and on how gun control curtails our freedom and how the criminals are all gonna kill us in our beds, because we don't have any weapons. Switzerland finally votes on the issue of gun control on February 13. The defense minister (also a right-wing conservative) was awfully dismissive today in an interview in a newspaper of women and how we "don't understand guns". I think we understand them plenty. Women just usually see guns from the wrong end of the barrel. Because guns are used against women. Everytime one of those asshats is going on about how guns make everything safer, I just want to smack them. I've never been in a situation where I wished I had a gun. Having a gun around just gives the illusion of safety.

Everytime some dude runs amok and he kills his family and/or his coworkers, he's using his army gun. Or when someone thinks about suicide and his army gun is there, in his apartment. A couple of years ago, some guy shot a 16year old at a bus stop. Weapon of choice: army gun. Don't effing tell me we're safer, when every effing douche's got a gun. Of course, there are probably gonna be more illegal weapons. People who want a gun, will always be able to get one. I just think we shouldn't hand them out like candy.

I'm thinking about inventing a drinking game. Everytime members of a certain party mention how foreign criminals are going to kill us, take a sip. I'm sure I'd have alcohol poisoning in no time! At the very least, it'd take the edge off listening to them talking nonsense on tv.
alexdegenhardt: (Hey there PD)
Wow, I haven't posted in a long time. School just sort of swallowed me whole.

I did write all my papers and programmed a html site. I sent off my last paper of the semester yesterday. I was very productive this week. So I can concentrate on preparing for the exams in the first week of February. We'll see, maybe I'll start next week. I need a break, just for a bit to get motivated again. I really like studying and my field though.

My 2010 was full of up and downs. It started with getting fired at the end of February, being unemployed for a couple months. I turned 30 while I was unemployed. I had a lovely birthday with my friends and me going to dinner. The upside of getting fired a couple of months before your 30th birthday is that you're totally not freaking out about turning 30. Suddenly you have other problems to focus on. The second half of the year was much better. I got into the school I wanted and I found a new job. I like both and I'm happy. Several people have remarked that I seem so much happier now. I think it's true. I'm much more mentally challenged at my new job than I ever was at my old one. And obviously the school is challenging too. But so far at least, it's the good sort of challenges. I hope 2011 continues in that vein.

Now, I'm off to see "Tangled".

I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Stressed

Oct. 23rd, 2010 10:02 pm
alexdegenhardt: (Sunshine & Optimism Glee)
Long time no post.

I've started my new job. The first two weeks I spent doing nothing, just listening to people explaining me things. This week I finally got some things to do. On one hand, it's great that they really take the time to bring me up to speed. On the other hand, I'm very impatient and I like to be able to do stuff on a practical level. I think next week, I'm gonna get to do more. Yay!

I really like the people I work with. The company is relatively small, only 25 people and it's a familial atmosphere. They have a nice breakroom with a microwave, so I can take my lunch from home, which is important, because I'm now on a budget. Also every week, we get a basket of fruit delivered to the breakroom, from which we can help ourselves. I like that a lot.

Meanwhile on the school side of things, I'm stressed. There are two papers due in December. A small one which is supposed to be 8 pages and a big one that's 12-15 pages. And I've never written a scientific paper in my life, so it's scary. There's something else due Mid November. And 10 smaller things where one is due every week. I'm trying to balance all these things and eventually have more of a social life again. This week there was no school, so at least I had time to research a little bit. We'll see how it goes.
alexdegenhardt: (Fun Briefcase Inception)
I'm officially a part time student and on the way of getting a "Bachelor in Information Science". I was in Chur from Wednesday to Saturday for our first block weekend. They dolled out a lot of information everyday though. My fellow students are nice and as much as one can tell after 4 days it is how I imagined it to be. It's a bit scary and I have serious doubts on my ability to plan and time manage everything. I've never written a paper with like citations and stuff. But I know, everybody else is in the same position.

The cool thing is, I feel like I'm among my people. They all love books as much as I do. Several of them are working in libraries and book stores. Agewise it's quite mixed, the ages range from 20 to midforties. I hung out mostly with one of the three Barbaras. Tomorrow, we have the first 4 regular lessons.
alexdegenhardt: (I Want Brains Heroes)
I got the job. Yay! I'm starting October 1. I even managed to negotiate my salary somewhat successfully. I'll start off with slightly less than I wanted, but after 3 months, when my probationary period is over, I'll get slightly more. I have all that in writing. I'm happy and relieved. I just hope I can fulfill their expectations of me... And I need to refresh my french a bit, since I'm gonna come in contact with people from the french speaking part of Switzerland on the phone from time to time.

The other thing I'm nervous about is my school. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to Chur for a 4 day introductory week of sorts. I'm excited and very nervous. I'm gonna meet my fellow classmates. God, I hope they're nice. My friend Martina, who did the whole part time student thing already, told me that it's very likely that they have similiar interests. After all, they chose the same branch of study. I hope she's right. I think I'll feel much better tomorrow evening.
alexdegenhardt: (Yay Community)
...but they're calling my references. Yay! I should hear from them sometime this week.
alexdegenhardt: (Lilo Afraid)
I'm having a little panic attack. It will pass in a bit, I'm sure. It's just that I've gotten the stuff for school yesterday, more information and things. It makes it real, you know. And it's starts very soon. From September 15-18 we have a block week and on September 21 regular class starts.

The other thing is that I had a second interview at the same company this week and I think it went well. It would be something quite different from what I've done in the past. Nothing finance related, although my job would be mostly about numbers. And if I get the job, my start date would probably be September 1, which is even sooner than the whole school stuff.

And it's just a bit much. The uncertainty is killing me and I'm a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of starting both a new job and a new school in the next 4 weeks. It's scary and I don't know if I can do this.
alexdegenhardt: (Today sucks PD)
My job search is going badly. I keep applying to jobs, from time to time getting interviews and then promptly getting rejections. It's getting to me. I feel like a gigantic loser. I know, I shouldn't take it personally, but with time you start asking yourself, whether you're the problem. It's just so frustrating. I just want this to end. I'm also starting to get bored. I miss the structure of a work day and the feeling of having done something even vaguely useful. Monday I have another appointment with my unemployment government advisor.

In the meantime, I'm hanging out with friends and family from time to time. Sunday I had dinner at my parents place, Monday I went to see a movie with my aunt, Tuesday Drinks with the girls from my Dance Aerobic Class and Wednesday BBQing with 2 of my friends. I get on well with my new roommate. We talk a lot at sometimes weird hours (a lengthy talk at 3.30 am comes to mind ;-)).

Off

Jun. 1st, 2010 11:59 pm
alexdegenhardt: (Dread one day at a time)
Something's off with my body. I don't know what exactly, but my digestion is in an uproar, I feel woozy sometimes, my skin feels itchy and more breakouts. I don't know if it's hormones or the onset of my spring allergies. Either way it sucks and it can stop anytime now, please.

Today is the first official day of my unemployment. Apparently it's not quite as easy as I thought getting a temp job. I've spent the afternoon completing step 2 in the uphill battle on getting umemployment benefits somewhere down the line. Only about a million left to go. Step 3 is I have a meeting on Thursday with my unemployment advisor. He'll probably scold me for only applying for 8 jobs.

My application file is at 4 different job placement agencies. I have a job interview on Thursday. We'll see how it goes. I want to get back to work, but I'm also spoiled, because that job would entail a 40 min. commute to work and my commute used to be 10 min. If it happens, it happens.

I get along really well with my new roommate so far. I might even like her more than my old one and I liked my old one plenty.

Sometime in the next two weeks or so, I'll find out whether or not I got into the school I've applied to. Man, I hope so.

Also in the next two weeks: I'll be turning 30. Whooooo. I don't quite know what I'll do to celebrate it. I'm thinking something lowkey. I'll have to ask my friends if/when they're free.
alexdegenhardt: (High Five PD)
-After a year long search, I found a new roommate. She's German like my previous one, 33 years old and works in a restaurant. She came by on April 29, signed the contract on April 30 and moved in on May 1. Everything was really quick.

-I sent off my application for the school I want to start in the fall. Today I received a letter saying that I fulfill all the necessary requirements to start studying there. I won't know if I got in until June, but I'm still excited and more than a little scared. I'm a little step closer to becoming a part time student in the fall.

-I cleaned out my closet, went through all my stuff. I ended up getting rid of 4 big bags of clothes. I finally have a little space in my closet. It felt really good to get rid of all that.

-I participated in a raffle to win tickets to see "Dear John" and I won. That was very unexpected! I went with my oldest friend. We had fun and got a goody bag from ELF afterwards. The movie itself is not bad, but nothing you need to see. Amanda Seyfried is adorable as always. I have a little girlcrush on her. And they filmed it in South Carolina, which looks very pretty.

-I wrote two job applications. One got me a meeting on Thursday at a job placement / temp agency. It was weird wearing business clothes after about 6 or 7 weeks of wearing very cashual clothes. I should totally write more job applications, will do that this weekend.

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